Donna was twenty-nine when she died of cancer. She was married to Andy and they have a
daughter, Cara who is just two. I make
no apologies for the fact that what I am about to write is very personal
because with Donna, everything was about being personal. She was about getting involved, not being
afraid to shine a light into dark corners because it might mean you need to
make a response and take action when it might be more comfortable to pretend
you didn’t know it was there. Forthright and honest, you never had to wonder
about Donna’s opinion of life, death or God.
For Donna, God was never very far away; He was central to her being.
Throughout her ‘journey’ with cancer, and I use her word not mine,
she faced her own dark corner and shouldered not only her own grief but also
the sadness of the people who loved her.
And I think about that word ‘journey.’
She had no patience with the words ‘fight’ or ‘battle’ there was nothing
she could do to win this one and she wasn’t leaving this world a loser. Journey would also be the word I would
choose to describe her life. Short it
may have been; cruelly so, but with every hurdle she overcame, she grew in
strength and insight and character. It
was these qualities which drove her to help set up a project to look after
prostitutes in Hull and then to nurse and counsel people with AIDS.
I knew her for such a short time, but from the first encounter I
felt that I had gained a friend. She
had the gift of making people feel valued and cared for. You learned never to ask her opinion if all
you were looking for was reinforcement of your own views. She was fiercely loyal and if you were
between a rock and a hard place, you could count on her to be there with you.
Bolshy, impatient, strong-minded, headstrong, vibrant, warm,
caring, devoted. Take your pick, you
could use one or all of these characteristics to describe Donna. But most of all, I know that Cara, who is
just setting out on her own journey, will grow up with the knowledge that her
mother was a person who inspired love. A love that will remain with us, always.