Donna was such a bright spirit. From that afternoon when the two of you
came over to our place and we met her for the first time, Donna was so
quick and funny and scathing, she loved to puncture pomposity, relishing
the argument, unable to resist the easy target - I was thrilled for the
two of you because I could see how her energy and warmth complemented
yours and how good you were for each other.  And it was such a joy that
the two of you were (almost) within reach just down the road and that your
lives became entwined with our family life - even more so when Cara came.
And though the last two years have been a helter-skelter of frustration
and disappointment coming out of nowhere; at every twist and turn she
fought back as you have done. I never saw her turn from it and take refuge
in despair or cynicism and that inspired me.

But the main thing I will always remember about her I hesitate to mention
because it might seem so over the top.  As we got to know her it was
evident that she had set herself a mission - that she cast herself in the
role of a redeemer. Even before Cara was born, she talked to us about her
fears about herself as a mother and whether she would have the strength to
rewrite a script that she had been handed. She set out to do this long
before she became ill. The cancer was the outrageous threat that had to be
outgunned and outwitted.  And underneath it was the constant fear that if
it killed her that it would have denied her the ability to prove that the
past does not have the last word on who we are, and that the future can be
different.  When I got on the plane yesterday I turned to Isaiah 53 to
read the poem of the suffering servant with different eyes. A redeemer has
to pay. They don't usually get to see payback. But without the payback
there is no redemption. I found Donna extraordinary simply because I never
met a redeemer before (in the flesh). I don't believe she failed. Cara may
not remember her - but we are all witnesses of how much Donna loved her,
what she resisted and what she overcame.

John Griffiths 22^nd Sept 2003